Do I really need to start defending my sexuality, well here
goes nothing. I am not a faggot, I do not find boys attractive, occasionally if
I see a guy with six abs and a nice body I’ll stare only because I wish my body
was as hot as his, not because I’d wana do bad things with him. I find girls
annoying but I love to smooch them and do other BAD STUFF with them. I wrote
this article outa sheer boredom just to take jabs at gay people (Why? Cuz I
can). I am not homophobic either, I actually have a couple of friends who are
gay and also a few lesbians and I don’t judge them. Doesn’t mean I won’t yab
them though. Again, I am not Gay.
Well since that’s outa the way, lets talk about gay people.
1. All Gay guys have a Nice fashion sense - Oh yes I said it. Most if not all gay guys
have an impeccable fashion sense. Almost all of them are in the fashion
industry, 7 out of 10 male fashion designers are fags, trust me this aint a
stipulation, I have concrete evidence. Also all these male models you see with
em six abs and masculine bodies, 6 out of then enjoy to sit on a dick to
relieve stress. Like I said the fashion industry is filled with em faggots. The
only thing I like about gay people is that they can dress to kill. Then there’s
the cross dressers, these are the one’s who add female dressing into male
dressing, I wont call names but we all know that skinny faggot with an Afro who
presents, and his boyfriend, that old man that wears lipstick and rides on
okadas. I don’t get, why must you crossdress, we get it that you like boys but
must you dress like a girl. That’s by the way, All Gay guys have an impeccable
fashion sense, well almost all.
2.
All (Most
Gay guys are Diva’s) – There’s the
two type of gay guys, The Butch Fag and the Diva’s, The Butch fags are the one’s
who act like guys, you can never know they are gay. An example of a Butch gay
is that Nigerian guy dredlocks that won BBA and also attends all parties, he’s
also a model (like I said earlier most models are fags), back to the matter
that’s an example of a butch fag, you can never catch them. Also any buff guy
that claims he’s Bi is gay, there’s no such thing as a guy who is bi. Once you
can let a guy park his car in your garage Nigga you aint fooling anyone, YOU
GAY. Don’t be fooling us with all that ‘I’m Bi’ shit. The second and most
obvious type of Gay ass Niggaz are the Diva’s, the ones who claim to be females
trapped in male bodies. If you watch Glee you would know what I’m talking
about, Kurt and that fat black girl guy who sings, they are the typical example
of the Diva’s. Any guy who talks like a girl or basically acts and behave like
a girl is the diva type of gay. I’m sure everyone knows a diva fag, they are
very common and little by little they are coming out of the closet. That’s good
news, that means more girls for us.
3. All Gay guys are rich – If you’re a gay
guy and you’re broke Nigga you’ve dulled yourself. I hear gay booty is worth
close to 60-70k pernight and if you add in an extra blowjob you might even get
a 100k. Even runz babes don’t make that much. Even if you’re ugly you will
still get customers, then if you’re fine that’s the end of discussion, all
sorts of men will be balloting for your ass. I hava a Gay ex-friend who is a
model, Nigga was from an Ok background but he’s rich. He travels to Dubai and
paris as if he’s going to buy bread and beans. Met his boyfriend before, oe man
like that. At that moment he told me that was his senior brother, then he told
me that was his uncle, then he said family friend. After a while I found out
the truth. Anyways when i and the Gay guy were friend (I had no idea he was gay
then) he and his ‘UNCLE’ took me out a lot. I went to expensive eateries, they
bought me clothes, they took me to expensive shows and mhen I had fun. Then I
met all his fellow ‘started from the bottom now we here’ friends who are not
from rich families but ended up being rich due to their rich boyfriends. Also I
noticed that gay people always help themselves out, Unlike we straight guys who
would rather help babes in order to bang em in the end Gay guy help each other
out a lot.
4. They have a Bitchy Attitude, even the nice
ones are Bitchy – They are masters of keeping malice and they can like to
take things P. If you tell a normal guy ‘no dey do like babe’ he wont take it
P. God bless your soul if you tell a faggot ‘no dey do like babe’. He will
bring down terror on you. I once had had a serious fight with a faggot all cuz
I uttered the words ‘ Nigga your behavior aint manly’, He stood up and gave me
a hot slap, of course I almost beat the gay out of him but that slap he gave me
was hot. Just last week his friend told him the same thing and that one too
chopped slaps. They are always on the defensive side, well you wont blame them.
Nigeria isn’t a fun place for gay people. Not all of them are bitchy though,
some of them are nice, until you mistakenly tell them ‘stop acting like a
girl’.
5.
They Love shopping – Well, this is very explanatory. They
are basically females with a dick, females love shopping. Need I say more.
6. They love guys (OBVIOUSLY) – That’s the
whole point of being gay.
7.
They believe every Fine Guy is also
gay – This is the
part I don’t get. I hear all gay guys have gaydars, some straight guys have
gaydars too. What is a gaydar? The ability to tell if a guy is gay just by looking
at him, you don’t need to talk to him or hear hi say anything, within a few
seconds of seeing him you can instantly tell that he is gay. Mos gay gay have
this habbit of believing that most fine vain guys are gay. I don’t know if they
wished the guy is gay but the moment they see a guy who is jaw droppingly
handsome they will start stipulating that he is gay giving dumbass reasons to
back it up.
8. They are relentless Toasters – Once a
rich gay guy likes you you’re done
for. He will keep toasting you until you succumb. It only takes the grace of
God to be able to say no to a rich faggot. If a rich young guy in his thirties
who is handsome starts to set P with you and gives you expensive shit and
promises you a trip to Dubai and france them no born your papa well make him
talk No. You would spread your legs and let him have his way with you. Only a
few people have had the balls to say No. Gay guys are go getters, as mentioned
earlier they have money and are ready to spend on you. Gay as is a scarce
commodity so they are ready to drop cool cash just to have a taste of your
chocolate drops.
disclaimer : i actually don't have anything else to say. I just love to put the disclaimer ish under my stories cuz it makes it seem cool. Well thats by the way. If you're gay and you're reading this story i'm not subbing you in anyway, except the gay dude who slapped me then yes, i'm subbing you.
by Famakin Opeyemi O.
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