ajebor corpers diaries

How NOT To Get Posted To A Village After NYSC Camp

19:10:00Opeyemi Famakin

 

Felt just like yesterday when I was anticipating to go to Akwa ibom to paint the whole town red. Everything was planned out, I’d spend my weekdays in Uyo and I’d spend my weekend tasting the spices Calabar town had to offer *wink wink*. Well, here I am in a remote village in Kaduna typing this article from my hut trying not to choke on the cowshit smelling outside my window. This article ain’t about me so let me not rant.


So, Batch B corpers, I’m sure you also wanted to serve in Lagos, Abuja or one exotic place in Nigeria and NYSC posted you to a state where you doubt people live in, like Zamfara or Gombe (I’m still convinced no one lives in those places), well don’t fret. I’ll tell you how not to get posted to a remote village. If a corper had written this article I won’t be in a village but, well, shit happens, maybe I’m the sacrificial lamb. 


In No particular order I’ll list a number of things you should do to ensure you don’t get posted to a village after camp.



1.     Try your possible best to join a camp activity: If you want your posting to be in a town then you better join a useful camp activity. Join either OBS, those who play instruments, Dance and Drama, yeah that’s all. They will tell you that those who do sports and march will get posted to town, that’s a big fat lie.



2.     When posting letter to your various PPA(Primary Place Of Assignment) comes out and you’re posted to a village, Immediately go and meet the ict guys to change it for you. Of course it’s illegal and they will ask for bribe, don’t give them more than 5k, they will post you to exactly where you want.


3.     You could also sleep with camp commandant too. That always works. Don’t sleep with any other soldier cuz they will deceive you, they have no power or influence in your posting. Camp commandant is the only soldier in camp that can influence your posting so better shave your lady parts and get ready to earn it.


4.     No matter what, hold a FAKE medical report saying you have ridiculous diseases, you’d never know when it would come in handy. 


5.     If you go to the ICT guys to re-runs your posting and they don’t agree, simple. Do not go and report in the local government you’re posted to. Take your fake medical report and go to the main NYSC office telling them you cant serve there and you have to be in the main town because only town hospitals render the treatments you need. Once you can go to the LG you were posted to and they register you then you’re fucked. There’s no going back.


6.     Then there’s praying and fasting, but then again all of us who got posted to the village prayed and fasted. Anyways you could be lucky. Heaven helps those who help themselves.
 

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10 comments

  1. I like this. Gud work famakin

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol... Sleep with who again? Ok o

    ReplyDelete

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