Anyone who knows me knows that I have a love-war relationship with weddings. After all it is the happiest day of a
womans couples life, a day where everyone can get together in smiling faces and their best AsoEbi’s (that they will probably never wear again), a day where the pastor will bless the wedding and give stories of why the couple should stay together, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part!
And here in lies my issue with weddings. They give…in fact everybody gives the image of the permanency of marriage, that divorce is a sin, that you should do all you can do to stay in your marriage, that there is no reason on the face of the earth why you should leave your man or woman, except death separates you.
And sometimes death does occur. It might not be the physical death, but most of the times it is emotional death. Psychological death.
Situations where a husband (mostly) turns his wife into a punching bag…but she does not leave, because of the vow…that vow. The better or for worse vow, then he beats her till she is almost sick, but she does not leave, because of the in sickness and in health vow, then he brutalizes her, almost defaces her, scars and in some cases kills her, and that is when she eventually leaves, till death to us part. But by then it is too late…
You see women, have been brought up to believe the permanency of marriage. And for the most part, especially in my country , they live out their wedding vows to the T.
But what if we change the wedding vows? What if the Pastor changes his or her message? What if the pastor speaks the truth and let’s the woman know that there are indeed times…times when she has to run for life, times when she has to take the kids away from the home and never bring them back. What if the pastor spoke about these things, not just in pulpit, but in the wedding vows. What if a woman was allowed to vow on her wedding :

What if?
I tell you what if, I believe more women around the world will know that they can leave marriages when it turns for the worse. And contrary to the naysayers, it will not proliferate a mass binge of divorces across the nation. It will actually make marriages better, because the men know now that they have to step up and that their wives are not going to be there regardless.
But hey…I don’t see that happening anytime soon, so I just do the sketches and hope that one day my daughter stumbles across this blog and uses it as a reference for her wedding vows.