The Party Freaks: We all know these types of people, their lives revolve around partying.
They are either club boys or club girls organizing one party or the other, they
are the ones who are in charge or the TurnUp TGIF ministries and in my opinion
they are the best roommates ever cuz they are ever lively jovial and ready to
take you to fun places, they are the happening people.
The Junkies: These
are the stoners and alcohol addicts. They drink to everything, ‘oh nepa just
took the light, lets drink to that’. ‘tommorrow is Friday, lets drink to that
too’, ‘they’ve increased the price of chicken and chips, lets drink to that
also’. You’ll see em in dark corners of the hostel smoking away their sorrows
with bloodshot eyes.
The Slut/Manwhore: You must have at least one of em in your room, every night you will see
them going out toasting one babe or the other. Their headquarters is newhall.
Everybody knows who they are and have probably had a fling with them in the
past.
The Amebors: They
are upto date on the word on the street. They are gossip mongers always talking
about other peoples lives.
The S.U’s: These
are the pastors and imams. All they ever talk about is religion, it is
impossible to have a normal conversation with them without them trying to
insert religion into it. Me: ‘oh pastor John I’m hungry and I think I want to
eat bread this morning’,.. John: That’s a good idea but have you tired a
different kind of bread that’ll forever fill you up, it is the bread of life
and it is the word of God’. You’ll see
them doing religious arguments about why this church is better than that and
why the divil is a douchebag. These people are always in the church or mosque
doing one activity or the other, they judge others and they always have this
holier than thou attitude.
The Nerds: These
people don’t have a life, they are somewhat like SU’s but the reason I divided
them is that not all SU’s get good grades. The life of a nerd is quite boring,
they don’t have a social life and their boring life revolves around their
hostels, the library/reading room and the class. And for some reason I can’t
explain these people have a dead fashion sense and the annoying part is that
they don’t even make an effort to change their fashion sense, even people in
the 70’s dress better than them.
The Money Bags: These are the kids born with a silver shovel in their mouth, they spend
lavishly buying the latest designer shoes wristwatches and gadgets always dressing
to kill. Most of them have poise rides although they are on this trip to find
themselves, they are really just traveling on their parents’ money. Then there
are some who seem like rich kids but don’t be fooled, it is just packaging.
The ‘I JUST DEY OBSERVE’: They are somewhat loners with a few set of boring friends.
Most times they are introverts and they never contribute to discussions, all
they ever do is nod and smile and you just can’t quite figure them out. Like
the SU’s they also judge people.
The Famzers/Clingers: These are the people who enjoy clinching to other people,
they are parasites and their hosts are mostly the party freaks and the money
bags. It’s not that they are poor, they just like to attach to other people.
The Phone Addicts: Always on their phone pinging someone or talking to someone, You cannot have
a 3 minute conversation with them without them pressing their phone every ten
seconds. You see them walking on the road and pressing their phones, in class
too its the same thing, everywhere you see them they are always pressing their
phones.
The Slobs: slob, noun (informal)
a person who is lazy and has low standards of cleanliness.
“He’s a slob and expects others to clean up after him”
Synonyms: sluggard,
pigs, elede, Tonto Dikeh, Dirty Animal
The Touts/Thugs: They are found mainly in male hostels but some female hostels have touts
and thugs too *coughs* Makama and MTH. These people are the people from mushin
who were lucky enough to get admission into Unilag (through runz of course) and
they refuse to change their street ways. They are razz people who listen to
Fuji music, always ready to fight with weapons and they are somewhat bullies.
It is rumored that most female touts in Unilag went to Queens College.
The Pepperless Butter Children: These people are the naïve people
who haven’t seen life, basically they are people who belong in covenant and
babcock but found themselves in Unilag. Don’t be misled just because a person
is called butty doesn’t mean the person is overly rich. Butty people are the
people who were over pampered and have no iota of street in them, most of these
people don’t stay in the hostel except a few.
Bonus: The Faggots/Lesbians: For the Faggots their natural habitat is
Mariere, and for the females their where about is unknown but we know they are
everywhere trying to steal your girlfriend from you. The Mariere faggots don’t
even code themselves anymore, gone are the days when being a fag was a shameful
thing, now they walk in packs like animals and almost every evening they gather
around for their regular Beyonce acappella skits. They are very easy to spot,
they walk like fags, talk like fags and some even dress like fags. Be careful,
these fags are rich and they will give you stuff and make you comfortable
around them and before you know it you would be a part of their nightly beyonce
accapela band. You know how mermaids are, we know they exist but we never see
them, that’s the way the lesbians are in UNILAG. We all know they exist but we
are yet to catch a live one.
7 comments
OMG! Too. Funyy. Awesome post.
ReplyDeleteLol about the lesbians/mermaid part....
ReplyDeleteI can't help but laff....female touts n Queens college part. Nice piece man
ReplyDeleteStill coughing laughs, can't help it! But.., u dey beef QC girls?
ReplyDeleteMy sis went 2 QC, and I stay in Mushin, we're tooch doh!
Loooool
ReplyDeleteLmao!!! new hall! and those runs babes and those guys that made millions selling chicken and chips
ReplyDeleteLool at silver shovel...who is this guy
ReplyDelete