In these parts, this sentence is peculiar to the Yoruba tribe because of how they pronounce English words with Yoruba enunciation producing the “H” sound before every English word. But in today’s post the Nigerian “H” factor refers to “the Nigerian Hustle factor”
 Before now, the people described as hustlers in Nigeria were probably touts and prostitutes but now its amazing how hustling has a whole new meaning because right here in Nigeria 2014, you have to “hustle” for everything?
Now let us go through three of the most common situations where Nigerians are required to hustle.

1. Public Transport e.g Danfo buses, Molue buses, BRT buses and Train.
This is the NO1 hustle spot. Just like I think its not humanly possible to eat watermelon or mango in a tush way, I don’t think there is a tush way around boarding public transport in Nigeria. No matter how bad you have over kaku if you are going to take public transport you have to bring your hustle A game.
Its amazing how even for BRT lines person gats hustle. Can anything ever be well organized and executed with civilization in this country?
The one that beats me the most has to be the train. Its bad enough that it looks like a moving coffin but the way people still hustle to jump in, on and around it freaks me out. When I saw it passing at Ikeja along last week I couldn’t just comprehend the scenery. People were in it, on it, and some were just practically hanging in the air and the most hilarious part is that they all looked like they were having the time of their lives. Chai! Nigeria my country.
Little tip for the Ladies- As a babe don’t try to wear pencil skirts unless you are more expert at jumping with your legs glued together than penguins.

2. Shunting Queues- Banks, ATMs, Shoprite, Filling Stations( KEG ) e.t.c
This one is usually hilarious and sometimes I look forward to it for comedy relief. You know how you are on a very long queue and the next person that comes to join the queue has a “ sister please I am in a urgent situation story”, or how its almost your turn and some dude comes from nowhere squeeze face and says “bros I was here, I just stepped out pick something”. I mean if you really went to just ‘pick something’ how did it take you the whole queue to pick whatever… what did you go to pick? Zuma rock???. The next scene after this always gets me. First its either, a very hilarious argument breaks out between the two parties or the rest of the queue carries it on their head and becomes your justice league… lol! You start hearing angry comments like  “Mr man please go to the end of the line”, “do you think we don’t have work to do”, “oga we did not see you on the line o!”, “you must not attend to anyone till there is a proper line” . Don’t you just love this country?

3. Mass Market – Balogun, Yaba, Kotangora (hope I spelt that right), Agboju, Trade Fair, e.t.c
This one I personally tag ‘survival of the best hustler’ . If you have ever or you still form to be tush these places are definitely not for you. It is absolutely get this- I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E to keep calm in these places. Here is the thing, even if you plan to mind your business and do your shopping in these markets the traders won’t mind theirs and will make sure you haul abuses at them before they allow you breathe especially for the ladies.
You are going on your own peacefully or scratch that- there is no way those places are peaceful, suddenly you start hearing annoying irritating hissing sounds to call your attention, if you form boz and don’t respond to that, the next thing you hear are all sorts of names with the intent that you will eventually respond to one. Depending on what tribe you look like they start calling you Shade, Ngozi, Halima, Caro… if you don’t respond to that too the next step is to grab you by your wrist or elbow as if its by force to answer now this is where you need your hustle game. Its either you know how to really scare them off by yelling or you just simply Jackie Chan your elbow/wrist out of their hands. But sisters be warned these dudes strong pass stone o if you no fit handle them no form Lucy Liu o!
And just when you think it ends there, after shopping you unzip your purse to pay and then whoa! like magic the only thing you see is your feet through an open fine line in your bag. Is it not funny how you can get robbed while you hold your handbag? Kinda reminds me of how students rob each other in boarding house. You skip dinning and march happily to your locker to grab some cereal from your perfectly secured locker with the heaviest unjackable padlock. You open it and voila! Empty and squeaky clean your heavily secured locker is now backless! Lol! Kai! See the hustle began waaaayyyy before now.

So how much hustle game have you got? As for me, i have learnt not to behave like moin-moin. if you cannot hustle, you cannot be Nigerian.