So I saw a
couple of pictures of women proposing to their boo’s and the first thing that
popped into my head was “Awww, if only Nigerian girls could be like this and
not wait for their man to start and initiate everything”. As we all know Most
Nigerian girls are spoilt like that, they’d have a crush on you knowing fully
well you are single and they won’t make a single move. Maybe except smile at
you everytime and laugh at your dumb jokes but they wont make an obvious move
and years or months laer they’d be like ‘Ope I use to have a mad crush on you
tho and I was hoping you’d make a move”. If I had a kobo for everytime I heard
that, No I wont be a millionaire, but id have like maybe N50-N85.
Now when I
ask them why they didn’t make an obvious move they’d spit out a bullshit excuse
like ‘it’s not ladylike” or ‘I was scared you’d say no and if you said yes
you’d disrespect me and blablaFUCKINGbla’. So we the guys who get rejected on a
regular are what, wait.. hollop hollop, did I say we? My bad, the guys who get
rejected. Can’t remember the last time I walked up to a girl to toast her.
Now back to the matter at hand, though it is cute to propose
to a man I wont support it. Of course I’d wish it would happen to me but who am
I kidding. Here’s a fact we Nigerian guys hate to swallow, ‘WE ARE ALL DOGS,
ALL OF US’, except a few SU ones or the ones who are lucky enough to have
morals which is like 10%, not that we all like to cheat but shit happens and
most of us have a bae and an assistant bae just incase our main bae fucks up.
Even the ones who aren’t cheats now will be cheats in the nearest future. It’s
just how we are, we are hunters and we love the thrill. So let’s imagine you as
a girl have been dating a tall dark and kinda handsome guy (reminds me of me)
for like 5 years and you decide to take a bold step and propose you might just
be making a very big mistake. Why?
I’ve once had a girlfriend, ok well maybe two who thought
they were my girlfriend but in reality they weren’t. Not that I was cheating on
them or anything but they just weren’t my girlfriends. Though we did everything
all boyfriends and girlfriends did I just knew I was wasting their time (If
you’re an ex reading this you’re not the babe I’m talking about, it was the
babe before u). Now lets imagine that ex proposed to me I’d fucking say No and
her heart would be broken and she’d start to put up pm’s and tweet about how
evil guys are and blablabla.
The point here is that you might not be your mans main Bae or
even his side Bae. I know a guy in Unilag, Koko Roy final year Finance who
juggled 5 girls at a go and gave them equal attention, equal love and equal
dick and NONE of them had a clue. To me he was the Ultimate player, he was a
master of cleaning up his tracks. He was so good that he once banged two best
friends and they had no clue. Now he had this unfortunate babcock chick who was
dumb enough to semi propose to him, she took him to her parents and the whole
family liked him and they had already planned a wedding after he was done with
Uni, and she wasn’t even his main bae or side bae, she was just a bae in Bacock
uni. (The character used in this article is made up, NO ITS NOT, and there’s no
one bearing KOKOO ROY in unilag finance Biz Admin, YES there is.. You might
know him as Tega, Wale or Lanre and he’d tell you he’s in petrochemical
engineering).
If you’re a chick, No matter how the love is shacking you and
no ,matter how much you trust your man, NEVER propose to him. You can always
use scopes to ask him if he has any plans to marry you or you can do what most
Nigerian girls do, Nag him into proposing or get pregnant. But don’t propose
because for all we know you might not even be his girlfriend, you could just be
a fling he decided to give a title just to get some… if you know what I mean.
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