It all started one random boring afternoon. All the corpers were broke and we had nothing to do, so we decided to get high on cheap palmwine and guzzle down some pork suya. After a calabash or two of fresh palm wine we decided to illegally take the Konga drums from the secondary school we taught and started playing songs to while away our sorrows.

Apparently one of the corpers amongst us was a kegite back in the days so he supplied us with kegite songs to gyrate and lift our spirits while everyone sang along and danced as if we were possessed by some Hausa diety. So we did this for about an hour and some of the villagers came out to see who was disturbing their peace.

You know how everyone gathers around a person who just started his madness and stares at him, that was how the villagers stared at us and watched us as we sang. Being higher than a plane, I had the courage to pull out two of the female villagers from the crowd who happened to be my students to dance along with us, at first they were shy but I showed them how to dance azonto and skelewu and in no time they started dancing. Then they pulled out their friends from the crowd and their friends did the same and in no time all the teenagers and village youths started dancing with us. Then they started singing Hausa songs and it was kinda like a choir/club mashup, while some sang some danced.

The village being a remote and tiny village had no festivals or gods, the only parties they had were only wedding ceremonies where they played only gospel songs(yes, not all Hausa's are Muslims) so these villagers had no other form of entertainment. This happened like two weeks ago, almost twice a week we now do a small palmwine kegite party in the village just to kill boredom. If the Ope of January 2015 saw the current Ope of January 2016 dancing in boxers and singlet with villagers holding a calabash of palmwine he'd laugh and cry.. He'd laugh at the fact that he's now the type of guy who wears boxers outside, and he'd cry at the fact that he's now reduced to a common palmwine drinking villager who dances with other boxers outdoor wearing villagers.

You knows those wicked no nonsense teachers who flog as if they are gladiators and who are so quick to punish you for the slightest reasons, those teachers we all hated when we were in highschool and always wished trailerswould jam and planned to beat whenever we got the chance.. well, apparently I happen to be one of those teachers.

Teaching SS students you have to be tough, if you make a mistake and slack or seem like a pussy these students would ride you the way Igbo girls ride dick. I remember when I was new in the village I planned to be the coolest teacher as per Lagos boy. If mystudents answered questions I'd buy the whole class lunch or dash them 500 naira to treat themselves to snacks and trust me in that village 500 naira is a big deal. When students fucked up I'd either report them to other teachers or call another teacher to flog them, all cuz I too was oncr a student and I didn't like when teachers flogged me. But these kids started to act some type of way so I took the law into my own hands. Shit got real very quick, if you made noise in my class I'd give you thirty strokes on your hands, if you refused to do my assignment i'd go Spartacus on you. Basically don't piss me off else I'd whip the shit out of you, that was my warning to these students.

Till they eventually wrote a threat warning corpers saying we flogged too much and one day they'd treat our fuckup, I was happy when I saw the letter. I wanted them to come and beat us for two reasons. 1. If they came I was sure I could take em all and beat the shit out of them and  2. If by chance they happened to win and I lost that would be an excuse for me to leave the village for good. So I went to all the classes threatening them that if anyone wanted to fight I'd wait for them At the market square at 5pm, I was ready for anything. You know how Yoruba people can shout and threaten you to make you scared, yeah I did all that and apparently it worked. The students backed down and the fear and order was restored.. I was the alpha wolf whom no one dared to fuck with. Then again I'm 6'2 with the body of a bouncer, a baritone voice and Osama beards, its only normal they'd fear me.

Fast toward a few weeks later the principals wife who happens to be very religious comes to school and tells the staff she had a dream a demon possessed the school and she saw a ghost walking around the school premises, of course I snickered at such statement. I don't believe in all those religious mumbo jumbo but as God would have it the next day shit got real.

Students started displaying madness for teachers and they gathered around the staff room threatening to beat teachers. A student was acting out for one of the female teacher and another threw a few punches at one of the male teachers but the other male teachers quickly came and split them up. At that time I was busy sharing free test marks in a CRS class since I was too lazy to give an actual test but as soon as I heard the noise I ran to the staff room shouting at the students saying "If they born any of you well come here and talk to any teacher and you will die today" ..(sometimes I can be thug) then one black Hausa boy opened his mouth and said "comot for here jare, u no fit do anyting".. I chased him but well the lil bitch outran me. At least he didn't throw punches at me like the others did the teachers.

The ss3 boys said it outrightly that tonight they were going to deal with teachers that we better sleep with one eye open. So I did what any sane Yoruba boy would do in that situation. I went to the next village to purchase a dagger..and also a bottle of McDowell's. It was on a Tuesday so I went for digging deep service by redeem church that evening and said my last prayers and went to my hut to wait. I kept the dagger by my side and sipped on the whiskey. I was prepared to fight till the end, no northerner was going to fuck with me.

Then at 3am after I had dozed off a call entered my phone, the principal called me to tell me that some students went to a male teachers house to beat the shit out of him that I and the other corpers should be careful and rally ourselves and hide. He said they were currently at the police station. After he mentioned the police were involved I was relieved, I knew I was safe, so for now the dagger I bought will rest and at least I enjoyed a bottle of whiskey.

Does that mean I'll stop flogging? Fuck no, maybe I'll reduce it but Ope will still flog. Its basic psychology .. If I stopped flogging they would assume the beatings they gave the teacher scared me. In short I plan to go to their classes to tell them that they fucked up that they should have come to my room instead that I was ready for them.. OK maybe I won't go to their classes to tell them that.. But I sha won't stop flogging.

So the other day I went for CDS in my village, I have no idea what the full meaning of CDS is but I know it has to do with us corpers going to the main village local government to sign attendance and discuss on fixing the problems the village faces, not that any of the problems have ever been fixed but we sha discuss it just to fulfill all righteousness. Anyways the NYSC officials canceled the cds as they always do and my 1500 tfare was wasted. I would have stayed back and flirted with the female corpers but none of them are remotely fine(if you're a female Corper in my LGA and you're reading this I'm kidding) (no I'm not, even you know you're not fine) so I decided to walk to where I would get a cab back to town.

On my long walk to the main road I saw some corpers by the side of the road making and selling cake and popcorn to kids and I was amazed. When I came to the village I assumed there was no way someone could ever do business but here  these corpers were making buttered popcorn and cake for these village Hausa kids. Then I spoke to them and asked them how much they made in a day and they said from 400-700 but they had to wake early and they closed late. A little part of me envied them because i knew how to cook very well and I've never made money from it( I've met tons of people through cooking though but that's not the point).

So on my cab ride from the village I was feeling depressed and useless that I'm just in kaduna playing and not doing anything useful with my life except hanging out and turning up,.. then someone pinged me on bbm and asked me to BC. Then I smiled and remembered, 'I make money off social media'..and unlike the other corpers who stay outside in the hot Kaduna sun from morning to evening I stay indoors and make roughly 8-10k a week just from bbm alone, so apparently I'm not as useless as I thought I was.

So now I can continue hanging out and turning up without feeling guilty or useless.

The end 😁